Long time gone . . .

Okay, it's been three months and one day since I posted anything on my blog. Not that I've forgotten about it, but each time I think I should, I am stopped by negative thoughts. I tell myself  that no one is interested (I don't have any followers, so actually, no one is) because I am too (pick one):

• negative
• boring 
• depressed
• old
• ungifted
• untalented
• uninteresting
• broke
• unemployed
• lazy
• tired
• chronically ill

Much of that is true. But here is what I'm working on:

I'm trying hard to get a job. So far, no luck. I believe I'm fighting ageism. The best shot I've had at a position is one I didn't get because I am "so overqualified." Yes, I am, but I did show an interest, didn't I? That means I'm willing to do the work, doesn't it?

I am actually doing things to fill the days so that I won't dwell on being broke and unemployed. I'm doing some craft projects that I've been wanting to do for a while. (I know, lame, but I like doing that stuff.) I've been reading a lot. Mostly trash fiction (NO Shades of Gray), mystery, fantasy, paranormal junk. Genre fiction is like a drug; once you're hooked, you can't seem to get enough. Anyway, I'm dabbling in writing again, after a hiatus of many years. That's also something I've wanted to do for a long time. I've grocery shopped and cooked. I'd grocery shop and cook more if I had any stinking money, but that's an entirely different story.

What I'm not doing that I should, is cleaning out closets, shampooing carpets, all that stuff that needs doing that I just despise. I don't mind cleaning in little bits and pieces. It's just so mind-numbingly boring that I can't do a lot of it at once.

And, I am trying to keep in contact with the few friends that I have. If I don't do that, I'm afraid I am going to just barricade myself in the house. I am afraid that I am a prime candidate for agoraphobia; sometimes I have to stop and think about when the last time was that I actually left the house. Often, the answer is, days ago.

I've discovered all kinds of ways to waste time, too. Netflix--OMG, where to start? I'm watching old friends like Rosemary and Thyme and Midsomer Murders and am discovering cable shows, like Eureka and Warehouse 13 and Dresden Files. Too bad the only one still in production is Warehouse 13, but since I don't have cable, it doesn't matter anyway. I can rely on the internet to keep up with it. Who knew I would be interested in shows on the Syfy channel? Okay, I've had the secret vice of Ghost Hunters--so hokey--for years, but I can sort of justify that because ghosts, in my opinion and experience, are real.

Warehouse 13, if such a thing existed, reminds me of a human mind. So vast, with so many locked spaces, scary things, useful information that's hard to access--but the Warehouse has the means to store unlimited items and a complex system of retrieval.

Enough with the stream of consciousness. Signing off now. I'll be back sooner and more positive, I promise.